4/15/2015

Yasmeen: dance dance evolution


Preamble: this is our friend yasmeen and she is amazing! she got married in january of 2015 in a beautiful ceremony in houston. she is such a beautiful spirit who is thoughtful, genuine and extremely giving. she cries for no reason at all (at commercials) and enjoys a good laugh like us. enjoy!


his alarm goes off at 6:40am every day. every week it is something different. one week it was “atliens” by outcast and more recently it has been survivor’s “eye of the tiger.” no matter what song it is, it is 6:40am, his alarm goes off, and i am not ready to wake up.  

anyone who knows ms. yasmeen belal knows that i am not a morning person. at all. my standard iphone alarms mean nothing to me and when i eventually do decide to stop being trifling and get up, i do so slowly, quietly, and with the biggest stank face you can picture. waking up before my desired time usually makes me furious. but mrs. yasmeen belal shares a queen bed with her life partner now, so things are a bit different.  i thought he would just roll over and press snooze like any normal human being.  you can imagine my surprise when i rolled over on our first monday morning post-honeymoon, struggled to open my reluctant eyes and saw a giant, 6’3” man, dancing, strutting, and flailing his arms all around our room. i soon discovered that my husband likes to wake up with energy, confidence and themed music that he swears “equips him with the proper attitude to take on the day.”  what shocked me even more was how contagious his morning energy was. never in a million years did i think i would find myself jigging and two-steppin’ at 6:50 a.m., but there i was singing and dancing to michael jackson. and here i am still doing it over 1 month into our marriage. my morning routine has forever changed.  yasmeen belal, is that you?

i have come to the conclusion that marriage is a constant evolution.  there is so much new thrown your way and so much realness laid out in front of you that you cannot escape the change that sneaks in on you and refines and redefines your concept of individuality. i am barely two months into this new stage of life, but let me tell you, what i have found has been shocking, unsettling and absolutely wonderful all at the same time.  i have discovered things about myself and him that i never imagined to find. the old adage is true, “you think you know someone until you live with them.” 

i have never had more respect for my husband than i do at this very moment. while my husband won’t admit to being this awesome, he really does it all! he budgets, he cleans, he irons, he washes, he folds, he vacuums, he mops, he sweeps and he can cook! he does all of these things extremely well and he does not complain. not that he is not without his flaws, but i say all of this to point out that i thought i was going to walk up in this marriage and just instantly be betty crocker and susie homemaker and he was going to have to learn how to do things.  wrong.  while he has learned some things from me, i have actually been the one receiving quite the education on what being a head of household looks and feels like. 

to put things into context, i have not had to keep my own house since my time in law school back in 2010.  since graduation, i had been living the high-life in my parent’s home.  home cooked meals every day, fridge stocked with all of my favorites, and our amazing housekeeper to pick up after me.  not only was i able to save money, i got to spend a lot of time with my family that i otherwise would not have had the opportunity to do. that is time i will never get back and will never regret.  but it did handicap me in a lot of ways. my domestic skills are a little rusty.  i forgot how to fold a fitted sheet and while i love to cook and bake, preparing meals on the regular is definitely something i need to get acclimated to and no longer something i do when i am “in the mood for pancakes.” all of this coupled with the shock of living with another person has proven to be a bit much for me at times.  i find myself overwhelmed with our “to-do” list, guilt for not getting to the dishes before him, and just an overall feeling of insufficiency that i did not anticipate; especially since i pride myself on being an extremely nurturing and considerate woman.  hell, i almost broke down when i was making food one night and realized we did not have any cayenne pepper! you mean herbs and spices aren’t just in the pantry waiting on me like they were back home? wait. we are out of toilet paper? you mean the costco-like pantry isn’t here to supply all of my needs and wants? i have to actually go to the store and get some? le sigh. 

the good news is my husband has surprised me with his abundant patience and understanding of the facts above and has no problems picking up the slack while i find my way. throughout this time i have been reminded that humbling experiences, though admittedly uncomfortable, are exactly what is needed to continue to mature, grow stronger and be better.  


photocred: Moyo Oyelola

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