4/13/2016

Our 2nd Wedding Anniversary


in a couple of weeks rob and i will be celebrating our second wedding anniversary. in just two years of marriage we have: moved states, changed jobs, lost a baby, completed a master’s degree, began a medical school program, purchased a home and have adjusted to living with only one full-time salary.  i think it is fair to say that this has been quite the journey. i work with young women and every day i watch as they fantasize, plot and plan for marriage and life. they scroll through my instagram and squeal “relationship goals” whenever they see a cute picture of rob and me. they have these surface ideals and expectations about married life. i literally laugh out loud at the thought of them experiencing the beautiful yet painful process of merging your entire life with another human being; they are clueless.

i would be lying if i said that i didn’t enter into marriage with a few unrealistic expectations. let me keep it real, i had more than few expectations! even after completing a long pre-marital counseling program i was still unwilling to let go of my expectations. instead i fought for them, defended them and became discontent when my husband did not meet them. deep down inside i expected marriage to be like a really good scene from love jones that never ended ha! so you can only imagine my disappointment when life refused to line up with my expectations. in the real world husbands and wives ain’t sitting around playing vinyl records, writing poems and sharing cigarettes. 

look here, let me be the first to tell you that the whimsical blogs and ig pages that we follow create a false perception of what marriage really is. marriage is about growth, forgiveness, commitment, choosing to love, forgiving again and moving forward. it’s about enjoying the laughs, special moments and memories that you create between working and paying bills. it’s about adjusting and readjusting to whatever life throws your way. marriage has a way of bringing to the surface all of the ugliness and beauty that you never knew existed. it sharpens you. although most of us know this going in, we often struggle to accept it. 

as i reflect on all that rob and i have experienced over the course of these two years, i am so grateful for god’s faithfulness through it all. i’m thankful for rob’s unwavering love for me and him choosing to love me even at my worst. i am thankful for his commitment to our marriage and for him striving to become a better husband as i stumble my way to becoming a better wife.  i’m thankful every day he gets up and works hard to ensure that we have a better future. i’m thankful for the way he cares for my family. i’m also thankful that he’s so good-looking, it really does help when he’s working my nerves! seriously though, what i am most thankful for is knowing that i get to share many more anniversaries with him!


-Tam

Photocred: StillLife Media



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